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It has been six months since i have cut.....and between last night and tonight the urges are beyond impossible to handle...Its been six fucking months since I have cut, but tonight and last night the urges are beyond impossible to handle... I fucking hate this shit. I thought I was out of the clear.... But I guess not....its an addiction I know that....but damnit...I feel like I am going crazy...I just can't do this...the urges are beyond tempting....

I am not writing this to get the attention. I am not getting this for people to pity me, I am writing this because I need to get it out. I can't be the strong one right now. I can't be the one who holds it together. I have been doing that all fucking day....pretending to be okay, pretending to be strong, pretending that I'm fine. Well I'm not fine. I don't know if its the medication , if its me, or what it is.... all I know is that I'm scared, and I am not okay....

For my close friends....and the people that I Love the most...Please don't be mad i posted this here instead of telling you directically....its my way....its the only way I know how to....how to vent.... I'm sorry....