Past few days....

Past few days have been hell, It has been that time of the month, and I have just been in a world full of pain, and a world full of hurt right now. I feel like I don't want even get into bed. I just can't take it much more. On top of the pain, I am also more depressed than I have been in a couple of weeks. I can't stand it anymore. I am fighting urges to cut, and fighting urges not to just break down and cry. Its hard.... 


I am exhausted, and just wore out. I am tired of being so damn tired lately, I just have no energy to do anything, and no patience to get through the pain. I just want to sleep all the time right now. its hard, I feel like I am not giving the ones I Love enough attention, and showing them enough Love. 


The holidays are so hard. I miss Mom and Emily so much.... My brother won't be around this Christmas he is going away with his girlfriend. Its so hard. I just hate being alone. Sure I have my roommate and her boyfriend here, but it just is not the same right now. 


*Sigh*


I guess that is all I have to say tonight. 


Thanks for reading.